Let Her Go
by HaleyMichelle18
Summary: I'm brand new to writing Big Bang Theory..So here we go! This is a missing moments story, centering around my favorite couple, Leonard and Penny, with the other guys making some appearances. Starting around mid season 4 and continuing on to the new episodes (hopefully!) Hope you enjoy!
1. The Benefactor Factor

**AN: I haven't written in about 3 or 4 years and I have NEVER written for Big Bang Theory. I find this show the most ****challenging to write about. The characters are so difficult to grasp for me, because they has such amazing, and strange at times, personalities. But I'm going to give it a go. This is a Leonard Penny story following the events that were protrayed on the show. Kind of a "missing moments" kind of thing. Starts mid Season 4 (because we all know we could've done with more Lenny moments then!) and will continue on.**

**I will go ahead an apologize ahead of time if it takes awhile to get updates. I am currently working as an RN and work 4 days, then 2 days off. My schedule is crazy busy, but I will try to have multiple chapters saved ahead of time, just in case life gets in the way. And I'm sorry, I don't have Microsoft Word on the computer I wrote this on, so if it seems strange or I missed some spellling errors, I'm sorry. Next chapter will be better!**

**With that being said, enjoy!**

**Chapter 1: The Benefactor Factor.**

Penny collasped onto her couch, with a sigh. She really should go change. Work had been horrible today, starting out with her spilling a plate of Shrimp Scampi all down the front of her uniform within an hour after she arrived and ending with a group of tourists wandering in close to closing time. Not to mention, horrible tips. Although, the smell she was forced to carry around with her all day and the stain on her uniform probably did nothing to help with that. She wrinkled her nose as said smell hit her again. _Alright, thats enough motivation right there to get up._

Using every ounce of energy she had left, Penny pushed herself off the couch and stumbled her way into the bedroom, ripping off the foul smelling uniform as she went. Reaching into her bottom drawer, she pulled out a pair of comfortable grey yoga pants, with the word, "Sexy" written across the ass in bright pink letters. Before she could close the drawer and move on to the next, she noticed, pushed to the back of the drawer as if it had been put there to avoid being found again, was a black t-shirt. When Penny pulled the material out to examine it, she had to smile. The logo on the front was in the desgin of.._Star Trek? No, that wasn't right..Star wars? That sounded better. _The words "May the Mass Times Acceleration Be With You" were written across the chest of the shirt.

Penny giggled remembering Leonard teaching her that formula. It's the only one that really stuck. _Mass times Acceleration = Force. May the force be with you. _Now she remembered why this shirt was shoved to the back of her dresser drawer. She had found it a few days after Leonard and her had broken up. Refusing to give the shirt back or even wash it too many times, for fear of his smell washing away, along with all their memories.

Fingering the material in her hands, Penny's grin was replaced with a sad smile. She slowly brought the material to her nose and inhaled. _It still smells like him._ _After all this time. _That was enough for Penny to make her decison, slipping the t-shirt over her head and covering her naked chest with it. Inhaling the material one more time, before standing from her crouched position, and walking back into the living room. _After the day I've had, this is just what I need. _

Walking over to her kitchen area, Penny poured herself a small glass of white wine and headed back to her original spot on the couch. Seconds after she had sat down, she heard a small knock at her door. When she realized it wasn't followed by two more, she yelled, "Come in."

Leonard opened the door and popped his head in.

_I was wrong before, maybe this is just what I need after today._

Penny smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Well hello, stud."

Leonard plopped down on the couch beside her, shaking his head, "C'mon. Not you too. I heard enough at work today."

Penny couldn't help it, she had to laugh. He couldn't get off the hook that easy. "I still can't believe you slept with her! You gave her sex for money!" She broke into a fit of giggles once again.

"I didn't do it for the money! I swear!" Leonard tried to protest over Penny's laughter," It just happened to be a benefit."

Penny was finally able to calm herself to a point of being able to talk again. Wiping away the tears that had formed from laughing, she asked, "Then why?"

Leonard got a strange, unreadable expression on his face at her question," I..I don't know. I just..She.." He let out a long sigh," Please, can we talk about something else?"

Penny nodded her head and gave him a serious look, trying not let another smile shine through, "Sure. How was work?"

Leonard brightened at the change of subject, "Well besides the comments and jokes I received all day, it was quite nice. I started working on a new experiement today. I'm trying to-" Leonard was interuppted again by Penny's laughter. He knew it wouldn't last long.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Penny doubled over, not even seeming the slightest bit sorry, as she continued to laugh. "It's just..I can't believe you slept with an 80 year old woman!"

"She's not 80!" At the look Penny gave him, he continued, "She's not!"

Before he had time to explain, Penny interrupted him again," Was she good? I bet she was experienced with all the years she's had to practice!" She giggled again, "Was she better than me?"

Both Leonard and Penny froze after her last comment. She had not meant to go that far. She had just gotten caught up in the jokes and laughter. She bit her lip and looked away, "Sorry. That was crossing the line a little bit. You don't have to answer that!"

"No." Leonard shook his head and stared into her eyes," She wasn't better. I don't think anyone could beat you in that competition." He flashed her a genuine smile, that she liked to think was reserved for her.

Penny didn't look away," Yeah..we were both pretty great weren't we?"

Leonard nodded and neither one of them said anything else, just continued to stare at each other. Penny felt her heart beat speed up as she recalled the look on Leonard's face, one that he had had countless times while they were dating, right before they wound up in bed together, tangled in the sheets. She watched as his eyes took in her whole body, starting with her eyes and trailing down. Biting her bottom lip, she couldn't help but wonder what was about to happen. _What shouldn't happen you mean? You dumped him! _Penny shook those thoughts away. She knew if he tried anything, there was no way she could turn him down right now.

She noticed a confused expression take over his face. He pointed towards her, "Is that my shirt?"

_Crap._

"Um..yeah. It is." She struggled with an explaination.

Leonard spoke before she could come up with one," It looks good on you."

Penny couldn't help the blush that crept up her neck and continued to her cheeks. "Uh, thanks." She offered him a small smile and, without realizing what she was doing, scooted a little closer to him on the couch. She was about to close the distance between them even more, when a knock was heard on the other side of her door. She groaned inwardly when she heard her name shouted, and two more knocks afterward.

"Leonard!" Sheldon shouted through the door," You promised you'd take me to the train store!"

Penny saw Leonard hang his head, "Just a minute, Sheldon!" He shouted back. He looked up at Penny and gave her a small smile," I did promise him. So..I should go." Penny could tell from the look on his face, it was the last thing he wanted to do. _Same here,_ Penny thought.

But she nodded anyway, "Okay. I'll see you later?" She asked, nervous for some reason.

Leonard's smile grew, "Yeah." He stood up and walked to the door, throwing her one more galnce and a smile, before walking out.

Penny's smile stayed in place. She stared at the door for several minutes, before glancing back down at the shirt she was wearing, "Yeah, I'm never giving this back."


	2. The Cohabitation Formulation

**Alright, I caved. I was going to save this for later, but it's midnight here and I'm going to go ahead and post this short chapter before bed. The next chapter is already in progress and will hopefully be much longer. The moments I write are moments that I would've liked to see on the show. I hope you enjoy!**

**Forgot to mention it in Chapter 1, but: I don't own Big Bang Theory. Surprise surprise.**

**And thanks for the reviews!**

**Chapter 2: The Cohabitation Formulation.**

Penny slammed the break room door behind her, before flinging herself down into the nearest chair. She finally let out the breath she had been holding since walking away from their table. Her head fell to rest on the table in front of her.

_Really? He is dating someone else now?_

Penny sighed. Just a short number of weeks before, he had been in her apartment, so close to her. At that moment, she could've sworn they were going to kiss. She could see it in his eyes, she could feel it in her heart. She had wanted to. But life got in the way. The past few weeks had been no different. Her job got in the way, his job got in the way, and, of course, Sheldon got in the way. They had had few moments alone together, with their schedules conflicting. Sure they had had dinner in the guy's apartment together since then, but she didn't even know how to begin to get him alone to talk..or what to say if she did. So, instead, she sat in her seat next to Amy those nights, listening to Sheldon ramble on and on about something sciencey, while she snuck glimpses at the bespeckled nerd across from her.

_And now? Now he was sitting at that table, with his friends and some new woman, who was laughing and hanging onto every word he said._

Penny sighed once again and banged her head against the table, regretting the movement instantly. "Ow," she murmured, with a frown.

Her head shot up at the sound of the door opening. The last person she wanted to see at the moment and yet, the person who still made her heart beat a little faster at his mere presence, walked in.

"Leonard, what are you doing in here?" She asked, frowning.

"I told the gang I had to go to the bathroom, but I wanted to check on you. Are you..okay?" He asked, unsure how she would take the question.

_No. _Instead of answering, she tried a different approach, "Leonard, you're not supposed to be back here." She pointed to a sign on the door, reading 'Employees Only' to prove her point.

Leonard just gave her an exasperated look," Penny..are you?"

Penny finally forced a smile, knowing he wouldn't give up,and said, a bit too loud," Am I okay? Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" She stood and walked to the mirror on the wall nearest her, needing something to focus on beside staring into his eyes. She pretended to be fixing her hair, trying to ignore Leonard walking closer, to ignore the familiar scent of his cologne.

Leonard stood directly behind her, making it even harder for her to focus on ignoring the effect his presence was having on her. He continued, "Because..I don't know, because I'm dating again and we used to date?"

Penny swung around to face him, "Exactly. We _used to_ date." She ignored the pain in her heart at her statement and continued," We've been broken up for awhile now Leonard. You have nothing to worry about." She smiled as best as she could at the moment. "I'm fine."

Leonard nodded, covering up his frown quickly with a small smile. "Good," He whispered, before speaking louder," Good. I'm glad." His eyes found hers again .

Penny found herself falling even more. _Damn his eyes._ She shook her head and cleared her throat, bringing them both from the moment and back to reality.

Leonard cleared his throat as well. Penny could tell he was nervous. "Well, I should..I should be getting back."

Penny nodded," Yeah, and my break is almost up so I should probably get back to my oh so wonderful job," she replied, sarcastically.

Leonard chuckled," I'll see you out there I guess." At Penny's smile and nod, Leonard turned and left.

The moment the door shut behind him, Penny walked back over to the table and sat down. She closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay in, begging her heart to just give her a break.


	3. The Toast Derivation

**I'm so happy that this story is liked! It's been quite some time since I've written, so I felt a little scared doing this. I'm glad I did now. And if anyone was wondering, the title comes from the song Let Her Go by Passenger. Wonderful song.**

**Once again, I don't own TBBT or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 3: The Toast Derivation**

"What happened to 'finding a hiney to bite'?"

Penny tore her eyes away from staring out the window of the cab they were currently riding in to look at her quirky friend sitting beside her.

The shorter friend sitting near the opposite window agreed," Yeah, Penny, something is up. You turned down four guys tonight and only had _two_ glasses of wine!" She gave Penny a look of confusion and concern.

Penny found herself shrugging and turning back to the window to avoid their stares. "I guess I just wasn't up to 'having a wild time' tonight. It's been a long day. Boring job, absolutely no career ahead of me, you know..the usual." _Not to mention Leonard dating another woman._

"All the more reason to let loose and let men who, I assume, have abs that look like they've been painted on do jello shots off your breathtaking body." Amy exclaimed, raising her eyebrows at Penny and giving her a smile. When Penny let out a small laugh, but said nothing, Amy decided to try again, but a more serious approach this time," C'mon, Bestie. What's wrong?"

Penny turned when she heard the genuine concern in her 'Bestie's' voice. She smiled slightly, "Sorry, Ames. I promise, I'm okay. Just feeling a little.."She paused as she searched for the right word to describe this. _Lost? Crushed? Heartbroken? _ "confused," she finally admitted.

She saw Bernadette frown and a look of worry cross her face," Confused? About Leonard?" She questioned.

Penny felt her heart rate speed up and her palms start to instantly sweat. She really didn't want to discuss this, too afraid of what she might confess to her friends. _And to herself._

The silence from Penny seemed to give them their answer. Amy spoke up, tentatively, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Penny found her nerves being overridden by the love she felt from her two friends. She couldn't help but be filled with pride at the people she had been lucky enough to have in her life. She never pictured being friends with people like Amy and Bernadette, a Neuroscientist and a Microbiologist. People with PHDs, people with a side of nerdiness that was beginning to grow on her. These two, along with her other friends, Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and, of course, Leonard, made her happy on days where she didn't think it was possible. Her friends made every day worth getting up in the morning. And she was blessed to have found that in not just one person, but a group of them. Even Sheldon had his moments of kindness that touched her heart.

Brought back from her thoughts by Amy calling her name, Penny spoke again, "Sorry, I just don't think I'm quite ready to talk yet." She saw both Amy and Bernadette's faces drop," Maybe sometime soon though," She reassured them.

"Whenever you're ready, Bestie. We'll be here," Amy nodded and reached to wrap her arms around Penny.

Penny hugged her back, just as the cab was pulling up to her apartment complex. "Thanks, guys." She handed the cab driver her share of the money and climbed out. Before shutting the door, Penny stuck her head back in, smiling, "Guys?" Both heads turned to give her their attention. "I love you. I'm happy that I've got friends as great as you."

Bernadette smiled kindly, while Amy couldn't contain herself. She threw her arms around Penny once again,"We love you too, Bestie!" She pulled back with a smile as big as Texas planted on her face, her eyes lit up with happiness.

Penny smiled once more and waved goodbye, finally shutting the door. Watching them drive away, she sighed, before turning and making the walk into her building and up the unavoidable four flights of stairs that awaited her.

When she finally reached the fourth floor landing, while cursing the shoes she had decided on wearing tonight, she saw Leonard standing in front of his door, searching for his keys. She felt her heart skip a beat as she watched him, his expression full of concentration, brows furrowed as he patted down his front pockets. His face finally lit up with relief when he extracted his missing keys from his right coat pocket. Penny didn't even realize she had been staring, until his voice caught her attention.

"Penny? You okay?"

She shook her head clear of the inappropriate thoughts she'd been having that involved Leonard pushing her against that door, his body pressed right up against hers, lips on her neck. _What was that about? _She found herself thinking. Months after breaking up, she really thought they could move past all of this and still remain friends. She was confident about that and the idea made her happy. Sure, she missed him at times, but she knew she couldn't lose Leonard as a friend. And she really thought they were moving past their failed relationship, up until that night in her apartment. _No, even before that. Remember that night in the hotel room? Or that night of the costume party? Or the night you stumbled into his apartment, drunk and pulling him to his bedroom, then becoming so embarrassed and ashamed the next day that you claimed it was a "mistake"? _Penny frowned at the voice in her head. Okay, so maybe her feelings for him had never truly disappeared, just merely pushed to the back of her mind. She couldn't afford to cross those lines again with him.

"Penny?"

Penny snapped to attention, "What?"

Leonard, face full of confusion, continued to stare at her," You've been standing in that same spot, staring at me for like five minutes. Everything okay?" He took a step closer, obviously concerned. "How much did you drink tonight?" He asked as he took in her attire for the night.

Penny, suddenly letting her anger take over and her walls come up, walked around Leonard and towards the safety of her apartment," I barely even drink, Leonard." She huffed," And what's it matter to you anyway?" She turned on her heel to stare at him again," What are you even doing home? Shouldn't you be out at your girlfriend's having a good time with the guys and ditching your best friend and roommate?" She spat out. _Smooth, Penny._

Leonard looked at his watch, "It's nearly midnight, Penny." He furrowed his brows, once again." And how did you know about that?"

Penny scoffed, "Sheldon came by at work and complained. He's really hurt Leonard. You should feel bad," She said, accusingly. With that, she turned and walked into her apartment. Eyes wide and not fully understanding why she was treating him this way, she started to close the door in his face. Before she could though, he spoke up again.

"Now, hang on." He stepped forward and through the door. "You know that's not fair. You know how he is."

"Yes, I do. But he's also your best friend and you should be more considerate of him!" She had no idea where all this was coming from. She just felt..angry ..all of a sudden. And sad. But the anger overpowered that.

"_More considerate?" _He nearly shouted at her," I do so much for that man! Is it so wrong for me to want to be away from him for a night? A night without him criticizing everything I do or that Priya does."

The look on his face finally broke her. His expression a mixture of tired, confused, and hurt. She let out a soft sigh, "Of course, Leonard. You are entitled to a night away." She sat down on her couch, looking at her feet. "I'm sorry for snapping." She shrugged and forced a laugh, "Maybe I did drink too much tonight." _Wrong. But he doesn't know that._

She could tell by the look on his face, he didn't believe her. He took a seat next to her and spoke softer this time, "Penny..you can talk to me-"

"Don't." Penny interrupted. "I'm fine. So please..don't" She pleaded, her eyes meeting his. She couldn't do this right now, especially not with him.

He shook his head, "Penny, you are still my friend. My best friend. I don't like seeing you hurt."

Penny felt tears burn in her eyes. _No. I won't let him see me break._ Penny knew he'd be able to tell though. He always could. Without really thinking about it, she threw her arms around him and buried her head into his chest. "Just hold me," She mumbled, "Please?"

She felt his arms encircle her. She held in a sigh of contentment. She had missed this. So much. She had never felt safer anywhere else. Even with guy's with more muscles or who were taller. None of them compared to this feeling. As his fingers started to trace circular patterns on her arm, she felt her eyes getting heavy.

When she awoke, she was in her bed, still in her dress. Penny sat up, confused. She felt something crinkle beneath her left hand. Looking, she found a piece of paper.

'_You fell asleep, so I laid you down. Sorry, I didn't change you myself, I know that dress must not be too comfortable to sleep in , but..well you know how I am. Shy nerd and all.'_

Penny found herself smiling as she read. He was always the gentleman, even when he had a chance to sneak a peek. She continued to read the note.

'_Just remember, I'm here if you ever need to talk. And you know, nothing will stop me from being there for you. Nothing. I hope you know that. Get some rest and I'll see you in the morning."_

Setting the letter back down and climbing out of bed, penny discarded her dress and pulled on more comfortable clothes, before getting back under her covers. She sighed. Of course she knew he'd put her first. She had no doubt. She knew if she asked him to, he'd drop Priya like a hot potato and come back to her. That was the problem. She had had her chance with him and screwed it up. She pushed him away. He deserved so much better than her, some waitress with an unrealistic dream of being a famous star. He deserved someone like Priya. Someone with a career, a life ahead of them. Someone that wouldn't hurt him like she did.

Penny turned on her side, determined to shake these thoughts and go back to sleep. Her eyes found the item on her nightstand instead. Her snowflake. She remembered the day he gave it to her. She remembered the feelings she experienced, the butterflies that danced around in her stomach. Little did she know then, that that was just the beginning. Her feelings would become much stronger, run much deeper with each sweet gesture he did for her , each look of pure love he shot her way. She knew long before he voiced those words exactly how he felt. It was in every look, every touch. Yet..she still freaked. She still let her fears get the better of her. Penny felt the tears sting again.

This was going to be a long night.


	4. The Prestidigitation Approximation

**Okay, I know the ending of this episode didn't go exactly how I started out this chapter. But it's not **_**that**_** much of a difference, so I went with it. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 4: The Prestidigitation Approximation**

_We can't be friends._

Penny tried to hold back her tears as she walked out the double doors of her apartment building. While Leonard never actually said those words, Penny understood loud and clear. She couldn't even begin to explain the anger that was building up. _This'll make for a great day at work,_ she thought sarcastically.

Penny had barely made it three steps out of the door, when she heard a loud bang, followed with a muffled curse. Turning on her heels and speeding back, she threw the door open to find Leonard sitting on the floor, against the wall, holding his head.

"What the hell was that?" Penny exclaimed, wondering what he'd done.

Leonard lifted his face to look at her, squinting. He gave her a sheepish grin that Penny couldn't help but find adorable. "I ran into the door."

_Those damn contacts._ Penny, without even thinking about what she was doing, held out a hand to help him up. "C'mon."

Leonard grasped onto her outstretched hand and stood, wobbling slightly. She noticed that he couldn't hold his left eye open. _That'll definitely leave a bruise._ Once he was fully on his feet, Penny dropped his hand quickly, stepping back. She frowned as Leonard swayed a little. "Are you going to be okay?" She couldn't stop herself from being concerned, even after the conversation they had just had.

At Leonard's nod, Penny took another step back towards the exit, her eyes never leaving him. Because of this, she immediately noticed Leonard walk towards the stairs and stumble into the nearest wall. Penny jumped forward, grabbing onto his shoulder to keep him upright. "Okay, c'mon. Up the stairs we go."

Leonard sighed, "Penny, I'm fine. You have to get to work."

Penny shook her head, continuing to try to guide him up the stairs, "I'm not leaving you down here by yourself just to hurt the only functional eye you have left. Now, move." This time when Penny started up the stairs, Leonard allowed her to help him.

When they finally made it to the fourth floor landing, after what felt like an eternity to her, Penny directed him to his doorway. Using her right hand to open the door, Penny never let her left hand leave Leonard's shoulder until she had him safely seated on the couch. "Lay back," She instructed.

Leonard tried to argue again, "Penny, seriously, you need to get to work."

Penny pushed on Leonard's shoulder until he was on his back on the couch. "I'm horrible at my job. They won't miss me if I'm a little late." She walked across the room to the kitchen and pulled out one of the many ice packs she knew Sheldon kept in the freezer in case of a medical emergency and some Tylenol out of the cabinet. Pouring a glass of water and walking back over to the couch, she found herself surveying the apartment. How many memories did she make here the past four years? And now? Now she was not allowed to visit anymore? It didn't seem fair. This was like her second home. Some days it felt even more like home than her own apartment across the hall.

Penny handed Leonard the ice pack to hold against his slightly swollen eye and the medicine, setting the glass of water on the coffee table beside him. She knew she should leave. She had done what she intended, gotten Leonard back to his apartment and made sure he was alright. She really should walk out the door and go to work. But instead she found herself sitting in the armchair next to the couch. Leonard's chair. How many times had she snuggled up to him in this chair while dating, nuzzling her face into his neck, covers thrown over them, some Science Fiction movie playing on the television? Penny wished with every fiber of her being that the anger she felt earlier would resurface. She liked the anger. It protected her, kept her standing tall. This feeling though? The feeling that came after the anger had vanished, she hated. It made her feel so fragile she could crumble to pieces at any second. She just felt..numb.

"I guess I need to start wearing my glasses again."

Penny looked up at the sound of Leonard's voice and the chuckle that followed. "I like your glasses," she said softly. She didn't even mean to say it, didn't even think Leonard had heard it, until she saw the smile that slowly slid across his face.

Penny replayed their earlier conversation over again in her head. Even despite her missing Leonard, she had decided she wouldn't let that affect her opinion of Priya any further. She knew Leonard deserved a chance to be happy and she was willing to give him that. Hell, she even liked Priya. _A little._

But now she felt like she was on a see-saw. On one side, she could tell Leonard her feelings, knowing he'd run back to her. She could bring up to him that, not even that long ago, he told her nothing would stop him from being there for her. He would agree and take her in his arms and they'd be happy. For a while. Until she did something to screw things up again. And she knew she would.

On the other side of the see-saw, Penny had the option of keeping her feelings to herself and giving Leonard the opportunity to try out this new relationship, even if it meant losing their friendship. Lifting her head once again to stare at Leonard, she contemplated her options, going back and forth. Each came with pros and cons, each with some kind of unavoidable heartache in the end.

Noticing the slow rise and fall of Leonard's chest, along with the way his mouth was hanging open slightly, Penny concluded he had fallen asleep. Standing, she thought about retrieving his blanket from his room to cover his sleeping body with. But she knew if she went back there, she might not want to ever leave. The memories would really hit her full force then.

She bit her lip and glanced down at Leonard again. The see-saw in her brain going back and forth, up and down. _Confess or walk away? Risk hurting him again or hurt yourself?_

A couple of minutes passed and her mind had finally been made up. With one last look around the room, Penny turned, and on shaky legs and tears threatening to escape, she walked out of apartment 4A for possibly the last time.


	5. The Zarnecki Incursion

**Okay, in my opinion, this chapter wasn't my best writing, but it'll have to do for now. I hope you all still enjoy. **

**Chapter 5: The Zarnecki Incursion.**

When the end credits of the latest rerun of Friends appeared on the screen, Penny picked up the remote and flicked through the channels. Her night with the girls had ended early once again. She used work in the morning as her excuse this time, though, everyone knew that she didn't care about her job _that _much. It was all she could think of when the girls questioned her. She really was running out of excuses. There's only so many times she could use "I'm just tired", "I have work", or "It's that time of the month", before her friends finally pressured her for a real reason.

Settling on an old episode of Gilmore Girls, Penny set the remote down beside her and brought her bare feet up to tuck underneath her. She stared at the untouched wine glass on the coffee table in front of her. Years ago, if you had told her she'd be sitting in her apartment on a Friday night, watching reruns of old shows, Penny would've laughed in your face. The only time she ever did this was while she was dating Leonard. _But I had someone to cuddle then._

While Penny watched as the mother –daughter duo bantered back and forth on screen, her mind began to wander to earlier events of the day. _Poor Sheldon._ The man was distraught over losing all his make believe game thingies. She vaguely remembered him calling her, sounding close to tears, and rambling on about some flamingo named Glenn._ Or maybe it was an Ostrich. _

She knew day old cheesecake would do nothing to help him cope, but she had tried to cheer him up anyways. And, if Penny was being completely honest, it was her way of getting back into apartment 4A. Her only way of seeing Leonard for the first time in weeks. As selfish as it sounded, it was true. And as luck would have it, she'd run into Priya on her way out. She wondered if Leonard caught any Hell for that.

Throwing her head back and groaning, Penny closed her eyes, not even remotely paying attention to the show any longer, her thoughts taking over. She missed him. So much. Before she had missed the cuddling, the kisses, and the sex. _God, did she miss the sex._ But the whole time, she still had their friendship_._ She was still able to hear his voice, see his smile. She could still listen to him try to explain his latest experiment to her and try her hardest to follow along. She could still laugh at him mocking Sheldon or just enjoy his company as the gang had dinner together. She still had _him._

Penny wondered if she'd ever get used to it. If this feeling of emptiness would drift away after time. If she could pass him in the hallway and just smile, without the sensation of her heart crumbling to a million pieces. If she could ever refer to him as "just my neighbor" and not think about all the memories they had together. _I hope so._

Her eyes open and glanced towards her wine again. _Well, I'm home. Alone. Might as well have a little fun. _Right as she was sitting up to reach for the glass, her phone rang.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, after hanging up the phone on a screaming Sheldon and changing into more suitable clothing, Penny found herself in her car, driving down the freeway, still in shock. _Leonard had called her for help. Her! Not his girlfriend!_ Penny's heart fluttered at the thought of him reaching out to her. She ignored the small voice suggesting that he might have called Priya first and she was busy. Penny continued to allow herself to think that he chose her first. Just that small thought made it worth driving all this way to pick them up.

_He chose me. He chose..me._

Penny knew she couldn't keep repeating that over and over or by the time she showed up, it'd be clear on her face just how happy she was. And she wasn't entirely sure what she'd do when she saw him, while in that kind of mood. _Probably leave the guys behind and go find a deserted parking lot. _Penny smirked at the images that flashed through her mind of her and Leonard in the backseat of her car.

_Okay, yeah. Need a distraction._ Penny reached forward and turned her radio on, hoping for an upbeat song to sing along to. Instead, she heard the melody of what sounded like a country love song. _Oh boy. _Despite knowing that listening to this station would do her no good, she never changed it. Her curiosity got the better of her as she paid attention to the words that the broken hearted man sang.

"_Wish I could close my eyes and not have to see you smiling."_

With those words a vision of Leonard's smile appeared in her head. His adorable, amazing smile that always made her days better. Even if he had done something to make her angry, that smile could still stir up the butterflies in her stomach.

"_Seems like your memory has got a map of my mind."_

It was true. No matter where she was, work or home, something would cause a memory of the two of them together to haunt her. She just couldn't understand why this was happening. She had had break ups before. Granted none that she was best friends with. None that made this big of an impact on her life.

"_I got you off of these walls. I got you out of my bed. Now I'm no better off, can't get you outta my head."_

As the song was nearing it's end, Penny forced herself focus more on the road ahead of her and push the memories aside, praying that over time, it would get easier.

* * *

"This was so much fun!"

Penny smiled at Sheldon as they reached the fourth flood landing. The man was absolutely giddy. He had talked nonstop on the drive home about the night's events and how Zarnecki had fallen to a mighty warrior. Of course, Sheldon was referring to himself as the victor. Instead of correcting him though, Penny let him have his moment, her eyes meeting Leonard's and smiling.

"It was, indeed, Sheldon. It's been awhile since I've got to kick a guy in his 'happy place'." Penny laughed, stopping in front of their doorway.

"Aren't you going to thank Penny, Sheldon?" Leonard stopped Sheldon in his tracks as he unlocked the door.

Sheldon faced her and Penny's heart melted at his expression of gratitude. It was very rare for Sheldon and she felt honored. "Thank you, Penny," Sheldon stated and she thought for a second that she was going to receive a 'rare Sheldon Cooper' hug. Instead, he raised his right hand to his forehead and gave a strong salute. "Thank you for helping us conquer our quest tonight." With that, Sheldon turned and retreated to his fortress.

"Awh." Penny turned to the man beside her, "He just gets cuter and cuter, doesn't he?"

Leonard frowned, "Yeah, for a little while..until he opens his mouth again."

Penny smiled and then realized they were alone together. She felt nervous all of a sudden. She knew, soon, he'd return to his apartment and she to hers and they'd probably go weeks once again without talking. She didn't want tonight to end so soon. So instead of actually thinking about what to say, she blurted out the first thing on her mind. "So, why didn't you call your girlfriend again?"

_Crap._

Leonard shrugged, suddenly finding his shoes interesting," She doesn't understand any of this." His voice softened, "She thinks it's dumb."

"So you called me?"

His eyes met hers," Well, even though you've complained in the past or mocked us a little, you've never flat out called it dumb. Or me a 'man-child'."

Leonard had mumbled the last part, but Penny still heard it. Her heart sunk while she felt angry at the same time. Had Priya really called him that? Sure, Penny hadn't completely understood all the quirks to the lovable four nerds across the hall, but she never called them such things. All of their geeky traits had grown on her and she couldn't help but feel protective. "Well that was rude of her."

Leonard shrugged again. Penny figured trash talking his current girlfriend to his ex-girlfriend was not something he really should be doing, so she quickly spoke up again," Maybe she was just having a bad day." At Leonard's silence, she continued," She'll get used to it. "

Leonard nodded and pointed to his door, "Well I had better be going in. Sheldon will probably be up all night with all of this excitement from today."

Penny agreed and tried not to let her disappointment show as she said goodnight. As she turned to enter her apartment, she heard him speak again.

"Penny?"

She glanced over her shoulder at him, hand on her doorknob," Yeah?"

He smiled the adorable smile that she still dreamed about and softly spoke, "Thank you. For coming to help."

Penny gave him a small smile back and nodded, "Of course. I'll always be there for you, Leonard." She probably shouldn't have said that last statement, but she meant it more than anything and felt he should know.

His face lit up, "And that means everything to me. Goodnight, Penny. I'll see you around."

With the sound of his door shutting echoing in her ears, Penny turned back to her own apartment. She didn't even try to keep the smile that had stretched across her face away. Her mood had been up and down throughout the day, with contemplating drinking the night away by herself being an option just hours ago. But now, she could go to sleep with a smile on her face. Leonard had chosen _her _tonight and not Priya. Penny had succeeded in making Leonard happy tonight and even though she knew tomorrow might bring more heartache, she would hold onto this feeling. Maybe she'd even be able to get through a girl's night out now.

Penny, now changed and ready for bed, finally crawled under the covers. She rolled over to the side of the bed that was once dubbed 'Leonard's' and buried her head into the pillow. If she tried really hard, she could still smell him.

That night Penny drifted off to a peaceful sleep, for the first time in a long time, with just one last thought floating around.

_He chose me tonight._


	6. The Herb Garden Germination

**Thanks for the reviews. I'm actually enjoying my last day off today, so I wanted this up before I go back to work tomorrow afternoon. **

**Oh yeah, finally broke down and used a twitter account. Mostly because I noticed a lot of authors on here have them and I'd love to be able to talk Big Bang Theory with you all! So hit me up HaleyMichelleRN!**

**With that being said (as well that I don't own Big Bang Theory!), here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 6: The Herb Garden Germination**

Amy Farrah Fowler had barely made it around the corner and out of sight when Penny's fingers tapped away at her phone, sending a quick message.

_'Amy and Sheldon are having a baby! :o :o :o'_

The blonde stood in her doorway, jaw still hanging slightly open. Surely she had heard wrong. _Amy and Sheldon? A baby?_ Surely not. They had only just begun to have sex. Penny shuddered at the thought and shut the door to her apartment.

Penny had just sat down when the door opened once again. Leonard walked in and straight over to sit next to her. Penny was so excited to talk about the latest news with someone, that she didn't even question Leonard being in her apartment. "Holy crap on a cracker!" She exclaimed, slapping him on the arm," Did you get my text?"

"Yeah," Leonard sighed," They were lying."

"What?" Penny stared at him, shocked," Why would they lie about this?"

"I ran into her in the hallway. She explained everything. It's called Meme Theory. It suggests that gossip, just like living things, seek to reproduce using humans as their host. Amy even used less interesting information as a control of sorts-" Leonard stopped, suddenly. Penny figured her confusion must have been glaringly obvious. "They wanted to see how fast the gossip would spread." He paused for a second and smirked," And they picked the perfect big mouth to use."

Penny glared at him when she realized he was referring to her, "Shut up. I do not have a big mouth."

"Oh please!" Leonard scoffed, "I have never heard anyone gossip as much you. You are the gossip queen!"

"Nuh uh!" Penny lightly punched him in the arm nearest her, a smile creeping across her face. "Take it back!"

"Hey! That hurt!" He clutched his right arm and pulled away from her. Penny knew he was lying by the grin he was trying, unsuccessfully, to hide.

"Oh, poor thing!" Penny said, sarcasm dripping from her tone. "You're such a baby."

Leonard continued to grin, "Are you going to run and tell that to everyone too? 'In confidence' I mean?" Leonard laughed out loud as Penny punched his arm again.

"You're being a bully!" Penny sat back against the arm of the couch behind her and pouted, pretending to ignore the man in front of her. Without even noticing what she was doing, her feet found their way into Leonard's lap.

"Oh c'mon. Don't be like that!" Leonard's hand wrapped around her right foot, getting her full attention now. _No. He wouldn't._ Penny watched helplessly as Leonard's fingers began to slowly trace the sole of her foot. Before Penny even had time to yank her leg back, he had begun to completely tickle her, grabbing the other foot as well. _Shit!_

"No!" Penny screamed, laughter escaping and muffling her protest. She desperately tried to reclaim her feet from his grasp, but Leonard hung on tighter. Penny reached for the closest thing to her, anything she could use as a weapon. The only thing she could find was the pillow beneath her. _It'll have to do. _

Seconds later, she heard a groan and the tickling ceased. She opened her eyes and saw Leonard glaring at her. Biting her lip to stop the laughter from breaking free, Penny mimicked his expression, trying her hardest to keep a straight face. It didn't work and found herself giggling again. Leonard soon joined in and Penny couldn't help but feel content as she finally found her voice again, "You fight dirty, Hofstader."

"Me?" Leonard blurted out, wiping a few stray tears from his eyes. "You hit me with a pillow!'

Instead of responding, Penny just shook her head, her smile still adorning her face. Her cheeks were actually hurting from all this smiling. Her eyes met his and she could've melted from the way he was gazing at her. She felt the butterflies in her stomach take flight again. She recalled how things had gone between them since that night she had rescued him along with the other guys. Things had gotten less awkward. Her carefree attitude had resurfaced again. Penny had been able to fully enjoy girl's night again. She had been able to sleep better each night, and while she still wasn't able to hang out with or have dinner with the guys in their apartment, she held the few moments she ran across one of them in the hallway close. Instead of allowing herself to become depressed and focus on how little she saw her friends, she chose to savor each encounter she had with them, no matter how small. She adored every tiny moment spent with them, especially Leonard. Things had been looking up.

_Until that text._

Penny remembered the conversation she had been having before Amy appeared in her doorway. Howard had proposed. Howard, crazy, disgusting Howard, had proposed to Bernadette. Two of her friends had gotten engaged. Without her there.

Penny's cheerful mood began to deflate as she spoke, "Howard proposed."

Leonard noticed the change in her demeanor, she knew he did. His smile disappeared. "Yeah." Leonard's voice filled with sympathy for her, "I'm sorry you weren't there."

"No, it's fine." Penny lied. She turned away from his stare. Those eyes would break her. "It's no big deal. I mean.." Penny could feel herself becoming bitter, "I only introduced them to each other. I only helped begin their whole relationship."

"Penny, I know you're hurt. Everyone would've liked for you to be there-"

"I would've been there!" Penny shouted, "I would've had your girlfriend not been so insecure about your relationship. If she didn't hate me!"

"Penny," Leonard tried to calm her.

"Leonard," Penny's voice lowered, "I had to hear about one of my best friends getting engaged through _text._" Her heart sank as she uttered the words and everything hit her. "Which wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't the only one who wasn't there for it." Her eyes met his again, "Because of some 'rule'." She shook her head and let out a sigh, finally realizing just how hurt she was. "You should probably leave."

Leonard stayed silent, as if he wasn't sure what to say. Penny almost thought she was going to have to ask again, when he rose from his spot. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to the door. Hand on the knob, he faced her again, "For what it's worth..I am sorry, Penny. We all wanted you there. Even me." His voice broke, "Especially me."

With that said, he turned and left for his own apartment, leaving Penny alone with her thoughts. Penny felt a single tear slip down her cheek. Things had been going so well for once. Curling up into a ball, she reached for her phone and finally typed out a reply to her friend.

'_I'm so happy for you'_


	7. The Agreement Dissection

**So it's not long and it doesn't have any direct Leonard and Penny in it, but I was suffering from writer's block with this chapter. I did love the episode. I thought it was clever, but it was hard to find any Penny/Leonard moments to write about. So I went ahead with a Penny/Sheldon friendship moment. I hope you don't mind.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7: The Agreement Dissection**

Penny sat perched on the arm of her couch, waiting. Just a few minutes earlier, Sheldon had shoved past her and into her bathroom, the door slamming behind him. Although the occurrence had confused Penny slightly, stranger things had happened concerning Dr. Whack-a-Doodle. A smile slowly slid across her face as she recalled the night a few weeks after moving in, when Sheldon and Leonard had snuck into her apartment while she was sleeping to clean. At the time, she had been completely shocked and creeped out. Looking around her apartment now, she realized that it hadn't been that clean since.

Hearing the toilet flush and her bedroom door open soon after, Penny glanced over her shoulder to see her quirky neighbor entering the room, tightening his bathrobe, a bright smile plastered on his face. Standing beside her now, Sheldon spoke," Thank you, Penny, for allowing me to use your bathroom. My bladder thanks you as well."

Penny smiled back," Well you and your bladder are welcome, I guess. Why were you using my bathroom anyways? What's wrong with yours?" She questioned, curious.

Sheldon's smile faded. His lips formed a tight line and his expression appeared far off, as if thinking hard about something. "Her." He mumbled, his tone enraged. Penny had only heard him use that voice when referring to either Will Wheaton or Kripke. _Oh, Penny was definitely curious now._

She raised an eyebrow and urged him to continue, "What did she do?" Penny knew who 'she' was. She was very much aware of Sheldon's displeasure with Priya. He was sure to inform Penny of everything that she did to annoy him.

"She violated The Roommate Agreement!" Sheldon practically shouted the statement.

_Ah, of course. _Penny nodded slowly, "Okayyy." She drug the word out, waiting on him to explain further. When all she received was Sheldon staring into space, still frowning, eyes filled with anger, she continued, "What did she do, Sweetie?"

Sheldon's head snapped in her direction, "Leonard was in the shower this morning and, while normally, I don't care to void my bladder in front of other people, I was willing to make an exception this morning, seeing as it was an emergency. But _she _was in there too."

Penny's heart dropped at his words. She suddenly felt queasy, her stomach turning. Standing and pulling her robe closed, Penny decided she didn't like where this conversation was going. "Sheldon, just go back home and try to ignore her."

"But Penny! The Roommate Agreement Section-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Penny interrupted, waving her hands in the air," Section 7."

Sheldon simply stared at her, undoubtedly not believing she had remembered that much about the roommate agreement. Penny couldn't really either, although, secretly she was a tad bit proud.

"That's right," Sheldon said, amazed.

"Yeah, you kind of drilled a lot of that into my head. I still have nightmares about it sometimes." Sheldon shot her a glare. She sighed, "Look, Sweetie, just go over and try to talk to them about this. Try to work it out, please." Any other time, she would've offered more; she sometimes felt a protectiveness over Sheldon that a mother would feel for their young child. But, Penny didn't think she could handle hearing more about Leonard in the shower with another woman. Her stomach turned again at the thought.

After finally agreeing, Sheldon left the apartment, a wicked grin on his face meaning he was up to something and was already planning to get back at the couple across the hall. Penny was sure she'd be hearing about it later. Grabbing her phone off of the coffee table, Penny typed out a quick message and pressed send, hoping her friends would be up for it.

'_Girl's night tonight? I'm in the mood for some Priya bashing!"_

The next afternoon, her hangover beginning to fade, Penny made her way down the last flight of stairs. Her stomach and her bare cabinets had finally convinced her to get up and go buy some food. Reaching the lobby of her apartment complex, she saw Sheldon walking away from the mailboxes, letters and a couple of magazines in hand. He face lit up in a smile when he noticed her, "Ah, Penny! Good afternoon."

Penny stood in the same spot, staring at him. "What's got you so peppy today?"

"I settled the previous troubles I was having since you last saw me." His smile seemed to grow even more as he spoke.

"Oh. Good." Penny nodded, unsure what to make of that. She couldn't help but be a little interested in what had happened.

Before she could dig any further though, his expression grew serious suddenly, "Penny?"

" Yes, Sheldon?" She asked, a little worried now.

"I just want you to know, while I found countless things you did or situations you put me through annoying and a waste of time-Don't roll your eyes, I'm actually going somewhere with this."

Penny smiled, "Sorry , Sheldon. Continue." She crossed her arms, waiting.

"As I was saying," He started, "while I was not fond of your choices in entertainment or how you choose to keep your apartment arranged or many other things in your life, especially how loud you were during your coital encounters," Penny felt a slight blush rise at his comment, "I have to admit: I was more pleased with you than other mates Leonard has brought home recently." Sheldon paused, "If you catch my drift."

Penny's heart melted at his confession. She lifted her hand to lay against her chest, "Sheldon, Sweetie, I'm touched."

"You should be," Sheldon agreed, causing her to laugh. "Now, let's go to the comic book store. I need a ride."

Penny was in such a good mood at the moment, she didn't even argue. "I'll take you. I have to get groceries afterwards though, if that's okay?"

"Can I push the buggy?" Sheldon asked, eagerly.

"Of course you can, Sweetie." She started walking to the front entrance, Sheldon following close behind. As she reached for the door handle, he spoke again.

"You know, Penny, last night, I didn't care for the drinking or the dancing, but I did enjoy the Priya bashing." Penny smiled, holding the door open for him to walk through, as he continued talking," Although, having Amy try to drunkenly shove her tongue down my throat that night and then proceed to throw up did leave me wondering if I should even bother joining the three of you again."

Penny stood, watching him walk towards her car, mouth hanging open in shock. It wasn't until he was several feet ahead of her before she let the door shut, chasing after him, "Amy kissed you?!"


	8. The Wildebeest Implementation

**First of all, I would like to apologize for the delay in getting this chapter to you guys. We had a medical emergency with my mother and have been at the hospital most of the week. I fear we aren't out of the woods yet, but while she's home and resting, I thought I'd try to write something.**

**I hope you all still enjoy! Just like always, I don't own Big Bang Theory.**

**Chapter 8: The Wildebeest Implementation **

"Golly, Penny. Your whimsy is boundless."

Pulling her brand new pink heels out of their box and placing them onto the coffee table in front of her, Penny smirked at the woman next to her. She knew any joke she made would impress Amy. The woman worshiped the ground she walked on. In a slightly creepy way, Penny had to admit, but none the less, she couldn't help but feel flattered at times. With all her crazy ideas, Penny knew Amy would always be there for her and had her best interest in mind..even if she took it overboard most of the time.

Brought back from her thoughts, Penny overheard Amy talking on the phone, to who she assumed was Bernadette. She vaguely remembered hearing the word "wildebeest". Reaching for her wine glass, she tried to focus in on what exactly Amy was talking about now.

"Calm down," Amy spoke into the phone, "Everything is going to be okay." Placing the palm of her hand over the phone, she turned to Penny, "We may have to kill her."

Rolling her eyes, Penny said nothing, but stood and headed for the kitchen, just as Amy turned the speakerphone on. Bernadette's squeaky voice filled the room. Her anxiety about being a spy was clearly building up.

_Yeah, I definitely need more wine._

As the slightly bitter liquid slid down her throat, she heard Amy make a comment about 'another bathroom gabfest'. Penny couldn't help but feel sorry for Amy and her adolescence. Never getting to have a sleepover or a girl's night. Never getting to be part of a clique. Never even having friends really. It was one of the main reasons Penny refused to let her 'bestie's' quirks make her runaway, screaming.

"I suppose I could get them back to talking about Leonard going to India to meet Priya's parents."

Penny suddenly choked on the sip of white wine she'd just taken. Coughing, she felt her heart start to race. "What?!" She spit out, hurrying to the couch to become a part of the conversation.

"They said something about going there this summer." Bernadette spoke softly.

"What are they getting engaged!?" Her previously racing heart felt as if it had stopped as the words fell from her lips. _They couldn't be._

She listened as Bernadette responded. Her eyebrows shot up when she heard the word 'astronaut'. She allowed her two friends to banter back and forth for a few seconds, before finally butting in.

"Okay, just forget about the astronaut-"

"Architect! Where would you have met an astronaut?"

Rolling her eyes once again, Penny ignored Amy and continued barking her order through the speaker of the phone. "Just find out what's up with this trip to India." _Please, _She almost whispered. She had to know. She needed to know if the sinking feeling in her gut was right.

Hearing Bernie's cry about not being able to continue, Penny almost felt sympathy for her. _Almost._

"Don't you quit on us!" She yelled into the phone. Going into this night, Penny hadn't even wanted to be a part of this stupid spy mission. This piece of information changed everything though. She was more invested now than ever.

Once the phone call had ended, Amy turned to face her. Penny noticed her hesitation. She knew there would be questions, her jealousy had been obvious. She could no longer hide behind her walls that she had worked so hard to build. And honestly, right now, she didn't mind. Right now, she could feel her eyes stinging with tears, feel her heart practically breaking. Right now, what she needed more than anything was a friend to comfort her, tell her everything would be okay.

_I need Leonard._

Penny knew she was even foolish to think that. She had pushed him away, avoided him as much as possible. She had broken his heart and caused him to run into the arms of another woman. She had lost the privilege of his love, even his friendship, a long time ago. Yet she couldn't make this feeling go away. She tried to every day. Crawling into an empty bed each night, reminding herself that she had slept alone for years before him, she could do it now. She would tell herself over and over that the Penny before Leonard had only allowed the company of a man when she _wanted_ it, never truly _needing_ it. She had never _needed_ anyone before and there was no reason for her to start now, just because of some relationship.

Yet, despite all of that, Penny would still find herself reaching for the red velvet bag that sat on her nightstand, pulling out the snowflake, remembering the smile on his face as he stood before her. She would remember the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, the tingles that ran throughout her entire body.

And, instead of willing herself to close her eyes and go to sleep, she'd find herself climbing out of bed and bending down beside her dresser. Opening the bottom drawer, she'd pull out the black Star Wars shirt he once wore. She'd stare at the material, thinking back to the night long ago when she had tried to sit through all of the Star Wars movies with him, desperately trying to stay away, because she knew how much it meant to him. She'd flash back to that one night, laying in bed, the night she'd quoted Yoda. She'd recall the smile that spread across his face, the ways his eyes lit up. She'd never been happier than in that moment. And then she'd remember what happened next. The declaration of his love met with her horrible 'thank you' response.

The rest of the night would be spent scrutinizing, that if she was sure she felt so strongly about him then, why had she hesitated? Why had she been too scared to reciprocate his words? Why had she pushed him even further way. Eventually, she would fall asleep, only to be haunted by the same memories in her dreams. No, this was not just _some_ relationship like she tried to convince herself. This was so much more.

Coming back to reality, Penny's watery eyes connected with Amy's questioning ones. The words, 'I'm fine' nearly slipped past her lips, but she knew anyone could see past that. She was not fine. She was scared.

"He can't be engaged, Amy," She whispered, "He can't."

* * *

'_They're not getting engaged!'_

Penny stared at the text message for probably the millionth time in the past hour since Bernadette had sent it. The message had been followed by another, asking if she needed to come over. Penny guessed Amy had told her about the breakdown earlier. She could understand her concern, and almost said yes, but she knew the night's events had worn both of them down. Politely rejecting her offer and assuring her friend that she okay now, Penny had done the same to Amy. Reassuring her time after time, that she was indeed better now, Penny had walked Amy to the door, but not before giving the woman a tight hug. "Thank you," She had whispered. With a smile and a nod of her head, Amy had left.

Now Penny lay in bed. It was only half past nine, way too early for sleep on any other night. But Penny was truly exhausted, emotionally drained.

_I guess crying for 30 minutes straight will do that to you._

Relief had flooded through her the moment she had received the text. She really would've have known what she'd do if they were to the point of getting engaged. Penny knew, deep down, that that time would come eventually. She knew she'd have to prepare herself for such a time, but for right now, she smiled and snuggled deeper in the blankets covering her.

Her eyes felt heavy and just as she was beginning to close them, her phone lit up, beeping, signaling another text message. Penny frowned, reaching out for the object, expecting it to be Amy or Bernadette checking up on her. Her eyebrows shot up when she read Leonard's name.

'_So..an architect, huh?'_

Sighing, she closed her eyes, really wishing she had just kept her big mouth shut. Jealousy had gotten the better of her. Opening her eyes and looking at the message, she bit her lip, contemplating how to proceed. Should she continue with the story or come clean?

Another sigh escaped and her stomach did a somersault as she typed out her message.

'_No. No architect. It was all just a misunderstanding.'_

There. Not a lie, but not the whole embarrassing truth. She held her phone close, waiting on his reply. When her phone beeped again, she stared at his one word text, slightly confused.

'_Good.'_

Good? That's all? Penny furrowed her brow. She begged herself not to overthink his response. Before she could ponder any further, her phone lit up again.

'_Goodnight. Sweet dreams (: '_

She couldn't have stopped the smile stretching across her face even if she wanted to as she typed out a 'goodnight' in return, making sure to add a smiley face as well. This was the most interaction they'd had in weeks. She quickly came to the realization that she wanted more than that. She had tried to accept this no longer being friends thing. It definitely wasn't working. She wanted the funny banter back, the sweet hugs, the mocking Sheldon together. She wanted it all back. She was never one to intentionally break up a couple, and she wouldn't start now. She would just have to find ways to still see him somehow, some reason to talk to him again. He obviously still cared, as well. She could picture him, laying in bed, phone in hand, so nervous about texting her. She knew he would be overthinking the architect comment, but never thought he'd ever bring it up to her. He apparently needed to know about this just as bad as she had about the probable engagement.

With one last glance at the message, Penny shut off her phone and laid her head back down, this time on the pillow that was once Leonard's. She was fully aware sleep would not come easy now, with her mind running full speed ahead with all sorts of ideas that involved 'running into him'. The smile never left her face.


	9. The Engagement Reaction

**Alright, I refuse to write any Penny/Priya scene for this episode, because I refuse to write Priya. I know she served her purpose, but I just didn't like her in the slightest. I really didn't like that Penny and Priya talked about Leonard's sex life, but maybe I can try to put a spin on it, without altering the storyline. I don't really care for the episode, but I do think this is my favorite chapter so far. **

**I don't own Big Bang Theory.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9: The Engagement Reaction**

"C'mon, Penny, think."

Sighing, Penny rested her head against the back of her couch. A week had passed since the measly, yet meaningful texts she had shared with Leonard and she had begun to put her plan to try to see him more into play. With no such luck. Every time Penny had worked up enough courage to walk up to their door, prepared to enter, her nerves would begin to take over. Her feet would become glued to the floor right outside their apartment. She'd find herself unable to reach out, unable to move forward, almost as if there were an imaginary force field.

Despite her hesitation, Penny wanted to see Leonard, badly. There was no doubt that she missed being around him, but the mere thought of having to share those precious moments with Priya made her sick to her stomach. She wasn't sure if she could stand watching them be 'coupley' in front of her again. If there was a teeny tiny silver lining to all of this, it was that she didn't have to witness Leonard kissing another woman.

With the option of barging in across the hall out of the picture, Penny had thought about just texting him. It seemed simple enough. She had even typed out several messages, from a small 'Hello' to a long message telling him just how much she missed his presence. The messages would be ready to send, but her finger would always hover above the button. She'd bite her lip and frown, before finally erasing the whole message. Nothing seemed good enough.

So texting was out too. That left running into him in the hallway. This was one of her last options and Penny was becoming frustrated with the results so far. She had yet to see him. She'd never admit it to anyone, but she even found herself peeking out of peep hole of her door a few times in search of him. That got her nowhere as well.

Penny was shaken from her thoughts by her alarm blaring through the speakers of her phone, letting her know it was time to go check her laundry downstairs. Another thing she had done in hopes of running into him.

"Another failure," Penny mumbled, bitterly, before standing, grabbing her empty laundry basket, and walking out.

She stood face to face with the door to 4A once again. What she wouldn't give to be able to just walk in, to be able to sit down with all her friends, enjoy dinner, maybe even play a round of Halo.

"I'd give anything," She whispered, before turning and heading downstairs. The walk down had never felt lonelier.

Reaching the entrance to the laundry room, Penny stopped in her tracks, a smile stretching across her face for the first time that day.

_Sheldon!_

He wasn't Leonard, but he was the next best thing. Having to stay away from Leonard meant having to stay away from Sheldon too.

Walking further into the room, she greeted him, completely ignoring the fact that it was a Saturday night and she was at home, waiting to catch a glimpse of Leonard and actually happy to be doing laundry with her quirky neighbor.

* * *

Rushing out of the laundry room, clean clothes forgotten, Penny followed behind Leonard as he led the way to his car, Sheldon sulking close by. She really hoped that Howard and his mother were okay. She knew how close the two of them were, sometimes she really wished she didn't know just how close, and if something happened to one, it might kill the other. _Please let them be okay._

Suddenly, all thoughts of Howard and his mother were gone from her mind as her eyes drifted lower and directly in line with Leonard's backside. _He really does have a cute tushie. _

"Oomph."

She felt her body collide with Sheldon's as they both tried to exit through the door at the same time.

"Penny!" Sheldon exclaimed, frowning, "Watch where you're going. It's bad enough I have to go to this germ infested hospital, now I'm going to have a bruise." He slowly rubbed at his right arm, giving her a look of exasperation. He proceeded to walk out in front of her, blocking her view of Leonard.

_Probably for the best. I may walk out into traffic if I keep staring._

Climbing into the front seat of Leonard's car, Penny smiled across at Leonard. Finally. They were around each other at last. Her heart rate sped up and she opened her mouth to talk, but was interrupted by Sheldon, in the back seat, beginning another rant concerning hospitals and the diseases that fill them.

"Great," She muttered, "Now you're jibber jabbering about germs."

Leonard chuckled and flashed a smile her way, before putting the car in gear and pulling onto the road.

Penny couldn't stop the blush creeping across her cheeks, joining her smile.

* * *

Pulling her damp hair into a messy ponytail, Penny dropped the towel from around her body and stepped towards her dresser, in search of clothes for the night. As she decided, her mind wandered back over the events from just a few hours before. Thankfully, both Howard and his mother were going to be just fine. She wished she could say the same for Bernie and Howard. She'd have to text later to see how she was.

After pulling on a pair of cotton panties and bright pink shorts, she reached for the cute t-shirt she had just bought the day before. There was no way she could've bypassed it. Looking at it now brought forward several different emotions. She pushed back the depressing ones and focused on the happier ones, the ones involving memories she was more fond of.

Once the shirt was on, Penny strolled into her living room where she had left her glass of wine waiting for her. Sitting down, her thoughts once again flashed back to earlier that day, this time concerning her conversation with Priya. A part of her regretted the conversation they had had. She could barely see the two of them kiss without wanting to gag, why on earth would she talk about sex with her?

Deep down, she knew it was her way of grasping for a way to bond. Not that she really _wanted_ to be friends with her. But becoming closer to Priya meant getting closer to Leonard once again. The possible outcome was worth the torture of enduring the woman's presence.

She really hadn't meant to trash talk Leonard to Priya. She honestly didn't think the sex was bad. In her opinion, while it may not have been the wildest she had ever experienced, it was definitely the best. She had never felt a stronger connection with someone. She had never had someone try so hard to make sure she was thoroughly pleased first, to put her needs completely above theirs. It was definitely a nice change.

She ended up saying the things she did in hopes that it would fool Priya into thinking that she had moved on, that she had no interest left whatsoever. But she missed hanging out with Leonard, and, like she had said earlier, she'd do anything to make it possible again.

A knock on her door brought her back to reality. She frowned, wondering who it was this late, but in the back of her mind, hoping it was who she desperately wanted it to be. Taking a quick sip of her wine to calm her nerves, she yelled, "Come in!"

The door opened, revealing Leonard. He smiled, taking in her attire, "Hello Kitty?"

Penny smirked, straightening out the shirt so he could see the material better, "Yeah, see she's dressed up as a lady bug, but look what it says!"

The smile grew as he got a better look. His eyes lit up and a laugh escaped past his lips, "Love bug?"

She nodded, her nerves growing. "Yeah," she said, shyly. Another sip of wine. "I, uh, I saw it at the store yesterday and I had to buy it." She glanced down at the shirt, mostly to avoid direct eye contact with him. "It's cute, right?"

Sitting down next to her, Leonard nodded slowly, "Yeah, it is." He cleared his throat, "I thought you hated when I called you that?"

Her fingers picked at the hem of the shirt, "I never _hated_ it. I just.." She paused, choosing her words carefully," wasn't able to fully appreciate it at the time."

"Oh."

Her eyes lifted to meet his. He still had a faint smile gracing his face, but she could see the confusion there. Her heart sped up and her palms began to sweat as she realized this was the first time they'd been alone in forever.

_Don't screw it up!_

"Anyway.." She drug the word out, searching for something to talk about to keep the atmosphere from becoming too awkward, "what brings you over here?"

"Well, as you know, Sheldon is being quarantined right now and I was just over in the apartment and.." He stopped, shaking his head and chuckling, "I'm actually lonely. I finally get away from that crazy man and get the apartment to myself and it's driving me insane. It's too quiet."

"Awh," Penny cooed, "You miss your little buddy."

"Yeah, yeah." He shook his head, "Plus," His hesitation was evident.

"Plus?" She questioned.

"I was just wondering what exactly you and Priya talked about earlier. She wouldn't say."

"Oh." Penny smiled, "Worried?"

"Do I have anything to be worried about?" A smirk was beginning to appear on his face, slight confidence noted in his tone, but the usual doubt was still there, she could tell.

Shaking her head and smirking as well, "No. You don't." There was no way she was going to tell him and risk him getting mad at her.

He sighed, obviously relieved, "Good."

Silence surrounded them as they continued to stare into each other's eyes. The spark was still there. The cat was still very much alive, she could feel it trying to claw it's way out of the box.

But she couldn't do anything about it.

"So," She started, breaking the silence reaching for her wine, taking a much larger drink this time, "What is going on at work?"

Just as Leonard began to speak, his phone made a noise. Glancing down, she saw his face drop, a frown appearing before quickly being covered up with a fake smile. She knew the difference.

"It's Priya," He said, "Wants me to call and say goodnight."

"Okay. Well, you better go," She replied, hoping he couldn't pick up on any of her disappointment. Who knew when this opportunity to hang out would present itself again?

"Yeah, I should." He stood and stared awkwardly down at her. She wondered if he was thinking about hugging her. A girl could dream.

But the moment passed and he turned on his heels and headed for the door. Reaching for the door knob, he turned to look at her, "Bye," He smiled slightly," I'll see you around, okay?"

She nodded, watching as the door shut. "Will you?" she whispered into the vacant room, her heart heavy and her glass empty.


	10. The Roommate Transmogrification

**First off: Happy Premiere day everyone! I know you all know what this chapter contains and I figured, if I had to post it on any day, today would be the day, because tonight you will all get to see Leonard and Penny reunited! **

**Now in Season Six, Penny mentioned parts of the Harry Potter book series and it struck me as odd that Penny would have read them. Being one of the biggest HP fans, this caught my interest. Also in the same season, it was mentioned how slow of a reader Penny was. So in order for her to have already been in book six by season six, I figured why not get her started reading them nearly two years earlier. We're talking about 300-800 pages books. So that will start to be included in these little moments. Actually a little more than the actual episode's events. I couldn't help it, my inner nerd came out!**

**Not much else to say except, I'm sorry for what I have to write in this chapter, I don't own BBT, and, once again, happy happy premiere day!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 10: The Roommate Transmogrification**

Several weeks had passed since everyone had gathered by Howard's side at the hospital. Since then Howard's mother had been released home and Sheldon had returned from being quarantined, immediately demanding someone take him to the comic book store to fetch the latest issues he had missed. "If I'm not too late," Sheldon had thrown out, bitterly, passing by her in the hallway. Everything had practically gone back to the way it was before. Including Penny rarely seeing Leonard. Even Howard had been the one to take Sheldon to the comic book store the week before, although that might have been more from the fact that Sheldon blamed Howard for his quarantine and guilt tripped the smaller man into taking him.

Either way, it seemed like Penny's plan of seeing Leonard more was slowly slipping away. The few times she did happen upon him were usually at the Cheesecake Factory and then he had Priya attached to his side. The day before while serving their table, Penny had smiled and casually tossed jokes (at Leonard's expense) around, while trying her hardest to calm her racing heart and to not allow herself to get lost in his eyes.

With everything going back to normal, Penny had found herself, once again, forbidden from 4A, and alone in her apartment many nights. Sure there had been girl's nights every weekend, but during the week, she had begun to sink into an almost depressed state. One night, she'd found herself staring at her ceiling, pondering if she would really find any other man who would care for her as much as Leonard had. She had laid awake most of the night, haunted by these thoughts, tears stinging her eyes.

It was the next day that, while in the mall, Penny had stood staring into the nearest Barnes and Noble. Biting her lip, she had contemplated entering the store. She needed a hobby to try to keep her mind occupied. Why not reading?

_Because you always hated it._

Yeah, she had always hated reading in school, when she was forced to read. She had better things to be doing then besides reading. She had a life.

_And now? A sucky job, a failing actress, and no boyfriend?_

That had been what pushed her further into the store. That and people had begun to stare.

Walking around, feeling completely out of her element, Penny wrung her hands together. Her eyes had slowly scanned the shelves, taking in the various illustrations and different sizes. There were a lot of big ones. Her eyes soon found a paperback book sitting on a shelf near the top, surrounded by even bigger books, all with the same huge words printed across the cover.

"Harry Potter," She had mumbled to herself, her hand reaching out to grasp the book.

Holding the object, Penny flipped through the pages. A little over 300 pages. Not too intimidating, but also not small. She had heard plenty of people talk about this book, but had never been bothered to read them or even watch the movies, viewing them as 'nerdy' and 'childish'.

She continued to stare down at the book, wondering if she should just buy it. It was only $10. It would help pass some time. And if she liked this one, then she could buy the second one. Her eyes glanced back to the shelf, finding the other Harry Potter books. She counted 7, including the one she was currently holding. She noticed the books thickening in size as the series continued. _That's a little intimidating._

She shook her head and wondered what she was even doing in this kind of store. Her hand reached up to place the book back to it's original spot, preparing to leave and head to the nearest clothing store, where she'd feel more at home.

"Can I help you ma'am?"

Penny had jumped at the soft voice behind her, spinning around. She had come face to face with a store employee, a young girl with bright blue eyes and a shiny smile. She couldn't have been more than 16. She continued to stare at Penny, an eyebrow raised. Penny's eyes flew from the girl's back to the book.

_What do I have to lose?_

Her slightly shaking hand had stretched out to grab the book again. She had no idea why she felt so nervous. In the back of her mind, she wished Leonard would've been there to help her.

She turned to the girl again, holding out the book, and flashing her a nervous smile, "Yes. I'd like to buy this."

That had been a week ago and now Penny was several of chapters in. She sat, book in hand, on her couch, a half empty glass of wine in front of her. Her eyes scanned the pages, her mind filling with images of the bespectacled boy with the famous lightning bolt scar on his forehead. She felt herself already beginning to get sucked in. It had taken several tries to really get started, and some words confused her, but she was determined to at least finish one book on her own. She had refrained herself from going online to read spoilers or flipping ahead in the book. She was actually enjoying learning about this character.

When Penny had reached the end of the fifth chapter, she set the book down, marking her place. She had been entranced with the mental pictures she had created for the boy, his family, and especially Diagon Alley. Taking a sip of her wine, she realized what she needed to do.

"Holy crap on a cracker, I have to watch this."

Setting her wine glass aside, she reached for her laptop nearby. She clicked on the internet icon, already prepared to purchase the movie. If she bought the movie now, she could watch it as soon as she finished the book, comparing her imagination with it's images.

An error page popped up on her screen. Frowning, Penny tried to reload it. The same page occurred after several tries.

"Sheldon," Penny muttered, picking up her laptop and walking across the hall.

* * *

"See? I listened! Don't know what it means, but I listened!"

Penny's body shook with laughter as she smiled at Raj, taking another gulp of her wine. She had lost count of just how many glasses she had gone through, at this point though, she didn't care. She was having fun.

"You're a smart girl, Penny." Raj smiled back, swaying in his seat slightly.

"Oh whatever!" She waved her hand, dismissively, losing her balance and falling back across the couch. Laying on her back, Penny stared at the ceiling. A moment passed, filled only with small giggles from Raj and a few hiccups escaping past her own lips, before she spoke again. "I'm reading Harry Potter now."

"Whaaaat!" She heard Raj exclaim, his voice reaching a pitch she knew it really shouldn't for a man.

She slowly nodded, a smile forming, "Yeah, I like it. But I'm only on Sorcerer's Stone, so don't ruin anything for me!" She sat up quickly, regretting the movement as soon she did it. The room begun to spin. "Ugh. Make the room stay still."

Raj stood and stumbled onto the couch next to her, gripping her shoulders. His eyes shut quickly, "No, that didn't help."

Penny laid her against the back of the couch, her thoughts wandering. She briefly wondered what Leonard was doing and why he wasn't here having fun with them, before Raj and Sheldon's words flashed back to her. Oh yeah, he was currently shacking up with his girlfriend. She felt the beginning of tears appear and sat up again, this time slowly. She would not let her mind think about Leonard tonight. She was supposed to be having fun.

She swallowed the rest of her wine and turned to face Raj. She tried to push thoughts of Leonard away, while striking up another conversation with the man next to her. Despite everything she tried, she couldn't make it happen. Even when she had leaned over and pressed her lips against Raj's, her mind told her it wasn't really his lips she was kissing. Pulling back, Penny opened her eyes. Instead of seeing the shy, awkward Indian sitting in front of her, she saw Leonard, his smile beaming at her, his glasses slightly askew from the kiss. She smiled back, her heart melting. "I missed you," She whispered, leaning forward once again.


End file.
